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Lord Chancellor:
Now, sir, what excuse have you to offer for having
disobeyed an order of the Court of Chancery?
Strephon:
My Lord, I know no Courts of Chancery; I go by Nature's
Acts of Parliament. The bees--the breeze--the seas--the rooks--the
brooks--the gales--the vales--the fountains and the mountains cry,
"You love this maiden--take her, we command you!" 'Tis writ in heaven
by the bright barbed dart that leaps forth into lurid light from each
grim thundercloud. The very rain pours forth her sad and sodden
sympathy! When chorused Nature bids me take my love, shall I reply,
"Nay, but a certain Chancellor forbids it"? Sir, you are England's
Lord High Chancellor, but are you Chancellor of birds and trees, King
of the winds and Prince of thunderclouds?
Lord Chancellor:
No. It's a nice point. I don't know that I ever met
it before. But my difficulty is that at present there's no evidence
before the Court that chorused Nature has interested herself in the
matter.
Strephon:
No evidence! You have my word for it. I tell you that
she bade me take my love.
Lord Chancellor:
Ah! but, my good sir, you mustn't tell us what she
told you--it's not evidence. Now an affidavit from a thunderstorm,
or a few words on oath from a heavy shower, would meet with all the
attention they deserve.
Strephon:
And have you the heart to apply the prosaic rules of
evidence to a case which bubbles over with poetical emotion?
Lord Chancellor:
Distinctly. I have always kept my duty strictly
before my eyes, and it is to that fact that I owe my advancement to
my present distinguished position.
When I went to the
Bar as a very young man
(Said I to myself
-- said I).
Lord Chancellor:
When I went to the Bar as a very young man,
(Said I to myself--said I),
I'll work on a new and original plan,
(Said I to myself--said I),
I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief
Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief,
Because his attorney has sent me a brief,
(Said I to myself--said I!).
Ere I go into court I will read my brief through
(Said I to myself--said I),
And I'll never take work I'm unable to do
(Said I to myself-said I),
My learned profession I'll never disgrace
By taking a fee with a grin on my face,
When I haven't been there to attend to the case
(Said I to myself--said I!).
I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes
(Said I to myself--said I),
Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise
(Said I to myself--said I),
Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force
In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce,
Have perjured themselves as a matter of course
(Said I to myself--said I!).
In other professions in which men engage
(Said I to myself said I),
The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage
(Said I to myself--said I),
Professional licence, if carried too far,
Your chance of promotion will certainly mar--
And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar
(Said I to myself--said I!).
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